Today I start what I am calling my new beginning, that is life with out having to be at the hospital 4 days a week. I am now half time, working for health insurance and tuition for my very intelligent children.
As I contemplate what to do with my time and looked around my house it hits me like a bomb! Get most of this “crap” out of here so I can think and not suffocate. I feel as if I am drowning in “stuff”. So up the stairs to the bedroom and the monster called the dresser, my dresser that is,( I will not be helping my mate breathe easier at this time), will be my first target.
As I unceremoniously empty the drawers on the floor I have to laugh at myself. The underwear apparel drawer being the most interesting with memories, some long ago and some very recently. I will tell about the most recent since it is still clear in my mind as to the logic of these purchases.
The fam damily went to China this past summer to visit my daughter. Having been armed with the information that the Chinese do not use western toilets but squatters and that toilet paper was something to be packed, I felt I needed to really prepare myself. So the planning began… 20 boxes of small packages of wet wipes , 20 bottles of germ killing gel and 28 pairs of cheap granny panties. I had also practiced squatting for months prior to our departure. 30 years as an OR nurse was taking it’s toll on my knees. Bags packed, half with the above mentioned, 3 outfits and the other half of the suitcase with drugs. A hazard working in a hospital with Doctors and PA’s with prescription writing privileges. They feared the worse for me and were sure I would return with some rare and not so rare diseases. As this did happen the last time I left the country I filled every scrip with the capabilities to treat every person I met from here to China and back.
The thought beyond the granny panties, the squatting exercises were going so- so, and I had a very logical, rational fear of falling in the squatter. So one pair of panties per day and a couple of extra just in case the thinkable happened. My strategy was that at the end of the day I would throw out the panties and shake out a new pair for the following day’s adventure. Well, for all you unbelievers there is a God in heaven, I am here to testify that I came home with 27 pairs of granny panties and not one mishap in the squatter!
Now back to cleaning out the dresser. I had planned to throw away these granny panties in China but they became sort of a badge of courage for me, I went, I saw, I squatted and had a wonderful time with my family in China. As I smile and fold my granny panties neatly to be placed back in the draw I think, these are to be kept and remembered fondly of my trip to China!
The lost pair, I am sure are being used as a curtain somewhere in The Republic of China.